I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
