Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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