my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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