You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize