You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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