I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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