maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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