I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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