I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
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Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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