it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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