It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i drank out of a bidet.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize