i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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