I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
