I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
