I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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