I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize