i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
