The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
