Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
