There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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