I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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