Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
