Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
where am i from again
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
