Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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