stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
