wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was like eating out sand paper
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
