he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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