So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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