Non-Jews are for practice
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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