I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
