At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
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Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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