I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
