So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
