The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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