On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
