I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
