Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
