You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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