i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
