dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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