i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
