the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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