At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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