we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
