I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
