why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
