So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize