it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
