I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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