i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
