from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
