Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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