You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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