Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
is wine microwaveable?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
