I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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