I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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