the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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